Monday, July 5th 2010

A new week begins

I’m lying in a Jacuzzi bath, the water churning all around, bubbles everywhere. My carer is running her hands all over my body covering it in aqueous cream. I’ve just had a delicious cooked breakfast that has left me feeling very content. People are running this way and that taking care of my every need. Later on I’ll be having my midday lunch (fish in sauce with vegetables followed by fruits of the forest in custard). As I relax further into the water whilst being shaved I’m thinking “why on earth didn’t I think of this years ago?” smile_regular

It’s a sure sign that the weekend is over when I had barely arrived back in my room and I was descended on by Jean (one of the hospices physiotherapists) and Chris (my OT). They had both come to see what my physical capabilities were so that they could determine how best to support me in my own home. They got me to try a couple of standing attempts after first manoeuvring me to the edge of the bed. I had four people surrounding me (for my safety) as I attempted to stand up with their help. Although I was able to weight bear I had my knees firmly locked and the back of my legs resting against the bed. It took all my concentration just to stand there let alone attempt walking. Realistically I think my days of shuffling around between the rooms upstairs in my house are now over. For some time now it’s been very difficult to know where to draw the line with regards to giving up walking. Do I wait until I suffer a really bad fall and hurt myself or do I just get to a point where the risks outweigh the gains? Truthfully I feel that I have arrived at that point and although I could hardly move far I did at least have some mobility. But now I think I’m going to just have to start getting used to the next phase of the disease. But even so despite the fact that it beat me in the end I did at least manage to hold out until the middle of the year. Back at the start of the year I didn’t think I could make it until the end of January so I can at least feel good about holding out so long.

Andy, the hospice Chaplin, came to visit me in my room this afternoon to introduce himself and really just to have a little chat. I found him to be a really nice guy to talk to and although I have no belief system of my own I enjoyed the opportunity to talk to him.


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