Sunday, July 18th 2010

It was 20 years ago today…

My goodness, has it really been that long already since you were taken from us by that evil disease many years before your time? I can still remember the endless hospital visits, the feelings of helplessness at not knowing what to do, the frustration as I watched the cancer take hold so quickly and knowing that there was nothing anyone could do to save you. I remember thinking how unfair life was. And I remember that terrible day when I received the call from dad to say that you had left us. I remember driving home from work as quickly as I could, tears running down my face. It was a time of great sadness in our family.

And now here we are 20 years later and I’m sitting in a hospice contemplating my own mortality and wondering how much time I have left on that invisible countdown clock hovering above my head. I miss you very much, Mum. But in a perverse kind of way I’m glad you’re not here to see what has become of your eldest son, and what is still to come. I remember your mother crying at your funeral and saying that no parent should outlive their children. I can only imagine, but it must be a truly heart-wrenching thing to experience and I wouldn’t have wanted to put you through that. But there are also times when I wish you was here. The journey I am on is a very lonely and at times frightening one and there are some days when I truly welcome the oblivion of sleep. The way things are going lately it won’t be too long before I’ll be keeping you company at St Marks.

In happier times. Clovelly, Devon. August 1987

Rest in peace, Mum.

Love,

Your eldest son, Mark xxx

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One Response to Sunday, July 18th 2010

  1. That was really sad reading that Mark and a nice photo of mum too!

    Love Chris xx

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